Posted on 09 September 2019
I recently started was diagnosed with anxiety and clinical depression. Yes, I was always somewhat of an anxious person. Always overthinking what if this, and what if that. My journey with depression started years ago but I was never fully aware of the feelings because I’d go out to shop or meet friends or drink whenever I started feeling any negative emotions or thoughts.
The anxiety and depression hit me very hard all of a sudden, but part of me always very unhappy with where I was in life. I’ve chased money, titles, and business my entire life and when I achieved the so-called dream, it felt like it was all for nothing. In December 2017, this is when it hit its highest moment. It was New Year's Eve at the restaurant which is one of the busiest nights of the year, I started having panic attacks. I was throwing up from the anxiety and I couldn’t sleep because of the depression. After that, I stopped going to the restaurant, lost all motivation to do anything. It started getting better when I started to take Ativan as needed and Cipralex. The Cipralex didn’t help, it only made me more anxious but the Ativan was what calmed me and I was hooked to the feeling I had when I took it.
But clearly, it wasn’t a long term solution. I tried four other medications until I found one that worked for me. Also, I started going to meditation sessions, therapy, and working on myself. Over the last year, or so is when I started to see improvements to my mental health. I became more resilient. It’s still something everyone struggles with, not just myself. My situation isn’t unique by any means because everyone is going through something in life. But through my journey with mental health, I’ve found purpose and meaning behind everything I do. I’ve founded a small project called The Hungry Mind through this journey.