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Kirusana's Story

Posted on 16 September 2019

I never knew what this dark feeling was. I was 15, and it was difficult to describe to anyone who had not felt it before. This feeling of feeling no emotions, I was numb. I didn’t know that feeling this way for such a long period of time was not okay. I felt like I was alone, like there was no one there with me to really understand what it’s like to be both mentally and physically drained everyday. Coming from a south asian background I couldn’t just talk about how I felt with my family, it was difficult to explain something that my parents didn’t believe in. That’s when I felt more alone than ever, when my own parents could not empathize that I needed and wanted help. I would often get these anxiety lumps in my chest from overthinking every single thing I do. It held me back from being who I was and the more I would feel this dreadful pain in my chest I started losing hope in myself to the point where I constantly felt useless, I felt that I had no purpose in this world. I didn’t know who I was anymore. All these negative thoughts kept suffocating me to the point where I wanted to kill myself. But here I am, and here’s to resiliency! When I thought I had lost all ambition and motivation in this world and in myself, I finally figured out what makes me happy and that’s reaching out to those who are suffering from depression and anxiety and being there for them when they need me the most. That being said this journey lead me to determine what I want to do in university, and that is to study psychology. Open up, empathize, share and most importantly know that you are not alone. I want YOU to know that YOU are LOVED, YOU are an amazing INDIVIDUAL and YOU can CONQUER anything!

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