For those of us living with relentless depression or suicidal ideations, we know that 'happily ever after' is a fictional tale as old as time.
In the real-life version, the adversity we face is not one magically overcome by a new outfit or a fresh perspective. Our persistent ruminations are not silenced by sunshine or solved by distraction. And well-meaning doctors are no more the heroes than we are the villain.
Life is more a multi-volume chronicle than a single story; a choose-your-own-adventure with countless twists and turns, climaxes, and conclusions. If such a tale called for only one satisfactory ending, then would it still be worth reading? And would life feel different if we could actually enjoy our achievements, rather than view them simply as steps towards a destination we may never reach?
Once we accept that we can live Happily Ever Average, we can enjoy our moments, rather than view them as steps to some other place we may never get to. Progress becomes relative.
Because adequacy isn’t failure, and it doesn’t by its very nature breed complacency either. Releasing the pressure of progress and embracing life’s averages doesn’t mean you’ve given up. Quite the contrary. When we remove the barrier of progress, we set ourselves free to sample even more adventures than before. To dabble without deadline. To explore without expectation. To revel in the curious discovery of a new thing rather than get stuck analysing whether or not we can be any good at it.
We can be our own version of progress simply by adding self-compassion along the way. Welcome to Happily Ever Average. I hope you'll stay with us awhile longer.
